That's Life
by Everythingistaken
Summary: First chapter is a One-Shot, the following chapters aren't. The life of Sandy and Kirsten with everyone around them - why Kirsten stopped painting, why Sandy was right with his assumption that men tried to play games with Kirsten because she had a important role in New Port as a business woman and how Ryan and Seth try to cope with the incidents their parents have to you trough.
1. Chapter 1

Season 1 Episode 27 - **THIS CHAPTER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS!**

Sandy was sitting by the pool. He was enjoying his beer and watched the sun going down. Even though everything around him was quite again his mind was still racing. Theresa and Ryan are having a child, Julie and Caleb are going through with their wedding and Kirsten… Well Kirsten confused him with her reaction about Theresa's thoughts about an abortion. She seemed really upset when Ryan interrupted them in the kitchen while they were having an argument.

"Here you are," Kirsten said when she found her husband outside. She sat down next to him and took a sip of her wine.  
"Yeah, I needed some fresh air."  
"Not one of our best days, was it?"  
"Not really. Listen, I'm sorry the way I reacted yesterday. I know you didn't talk Theresa into anything, I am just frustrated," Sandy apologized to his wife.

"I know. It's not an easy decision for Theresa to make."  
"Kirsten, when we were in the kitchen you said something about knowing what Theresa is going through. You haven't slept since we know about the pregnancy – is there something I don't know?"  
Normally confronting Kirsten was never a good idea. If you wanted to know something about her the best thing was to wait for her to tell you. But this time Sandy felt like he needed to get her talking.

Kirsten looked a bit puzzled. Her heart was racing, she felt weirdly caught.

"Sandy, I never wanted to talk about this."  
"About what? Tell me." Sandy asked gently.

"It happened a long time ago. When Jimmy and I were still together I got pregnant. I couldn't talk to anyone, you know how people are around here. I was still thinking about what to do when I lost the child. No one ever knew."  
"You never talked to Jimmy about that? Not to your mother?"  
"I was ashamed. Getting pregnant at 17 was nothing that could happen in our family. And after I lost the baby I thought it was my fault. I thought about aborting the child a lot. Kinda felt like karma. And I wasn't even sure who the father was. It was a confusing time."

"Kirsten – I had no idea," Sandy was speechless and searching for words, "I… I wish I knew. So, you didn't know who the father was?"  
"My relationship with Jimmy pretty soon became a relationship between my father and him. At some party, Jimmy wasn't there; I made a mistake and slept with someone else. It never happened again, never happened before but it happened. That's why I absolutely couldn't talk to Jim."

"Gosh, that's messed up," Sandy said after he took a sip of his beer, "why did you never say anything?"  
"I don't know. What should I have said? It just never felt right. We built a good life and the past was the past. Until Theresa's story mixed everything up."

"Well, I'm glad you told me now. You shouldn't feel ashamed about anything, Kirsten. You know that now, right?"  
"Yeah, I know. And I'm fine. I just want Theresa and Ryan to know that they are not alone. That they don't need to do what's the easiest..."  
Sandy looked at his wife. Sometimes it surprised him how much someone can keep to him or herself. He took her hand and looked at the wedding rings she never took of.

What a life – not one boring day.

Sandy and Kirsten finished their drinks and made their way into the house. Seth was sitting in the kitchen and looked through one of his many comic books.

"Mom, Dad, how do you feel as Almost-Grandparents?"

"Seth, really?" Sandy looked at his son.

"What?" he asked.

"Already joking? Even for the Cohen's that's a bit early, don't you think?" Sandy rhetorically asked his son. In the corner of his eye he watched Kirsten who was going through some work papers. She was still didn't look like her happy self – luckily he now knew why.

Kirsten put on her night-gown when Sandy softly put his hands around her and started to kiss her neck. Usually this way they could forget what was happening around them and relax. Not this time.  
"Sandy, not now," Kirsten said and moved back rarely noticeable for someone who didn't know her.  
But Sandy did and he knew she meant it.

"I'm sorry, I just can't tonight. Can we just go to bed?" she asked her husband.

"Sure, don't worry about it. Let's get some sleep."

**AGAIN: THE FOLLWING CHAPTERS ARE NOT CONNECTED WITH THE FIRST!**


	2. Chapter 2

"Mom? MOM?" Seth screamed through the house, searching for his mother who was sitting at the kitchen table working on her Laptop.

Ryan was playing playstation in the living room and Sandy was looking through the newspaper.

"In the kitchen Seth, no need to scream through the house like a lunatic," Kirsten responded.

She hated it when her men would shout for her instead of using their feet.

"Oh good, here you are. Listen," Seth started, but Sandy interrupted him.

"Son, trust me, if there is anything you need from your mother you shouldn't ask now, she's gonna say no anyway," he told his son.

"Oh come on Dad, couldn't you wait with annoying mom until I was done with it?"  
"Soooorry," Sandy apologized ironically.

While Seth and Sandy were goofing around Kirsten looked up from her laptop and stared at her husband and son in silence. It really hasn't been a good day for here and her mood went from bad to worse.

"Hey Ryan, did you have any idea that the two black haired people in this family are THAT funny?" she asked Ryan who paused his game.

"Hilarious, don't you think?" he said ironically.

"So Seth what do you need?"

"I know we are not allowed to use your car since that IMAX thing. But can I pleaaaase have it tonight?" he looked at Kirsten with his best puppy dog eyes.

"No, no way Seth. I love that car and I'm not gonna let you destroy it too," Kirsten said. Seth knew exactly that she did not really care that much about her new car.

"Pleaaaaase mother. Summer and I are going out tonight and dad's surfer truck is not really the way to impress a girl. Come one mom," he begged.

"Hey, don't talk like that about my car, son!" Sandy defended his jeep – he really did care that much about his car.

"Well, I can't let Summer drive in you fathers Jeep, can I?" Kirsten asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, that's what I thought, you see mother, we understand each other," Seth said in his flippant tone.

"One scratch, one flaw on that car and I'm gonna do the same to your comic books."  
"Deal, thank you mom."

Seth left the kitchen when Ryan asked: "Since when do you care so much about a car Kirsten?"  
"She doesn't. Every once in a while our woman has to feel in control of her men, that's all, right hon?" Sandy answered the question for Kirsten with an ironic undertone.

"You are so omniscient Sandy. Incredible. They should have picked you for the man of the year instead of my father."  
"My words, darling, my words."

Ryan turned off the TV. "I better get ready too, I promised Marissa to help her babysit Kaitlin," he said.

Sandy looked at his wife. They would have the house for themselves – very promising.

"All right kid, have fun. And say hi to Jimmy for me," Kirsten responded, not noticing Sandy's glance.

When the boys were gone to their dates Sandy opened a bottle of whine and put a glass in front of Kirsten who was still sitting at the kitchen table.

"Darling, will you stop working for tonight please? We have the house to ourselves, no Seth, no Ryan, just peace and quite," he looked at his wife with begging eyes.

"Sandy, I'm sorry. But my father's bank sent me some obscure papers I need to go through."  
"What kind of papers?"  
"There's a big amount of money, well, missing."  
"Can I help?"  
"I don't think so. I'm simply looking over the account statements, looking for a hint where the money could have disappeared."  
"Have you talked to your father?"  
"Have you ever talked to my father? You know exactly he won't tell me anything."  
"One hour. I'm gonna help you for one hour and than I demand that you take a break, drink that bottle of whine with me and than hopefully –"  
"Don't get your hopes too high," Kirsten interrupted her husband laughing.

Even though she was worried about the situation in her company she was relieved that Sandy was patient enough to help her through the mess.

"All right than, one hour," she finally agreed.

Sandy sat down next to her and kissed her intensively. "Sandy, one hour before I allow you to do that again," Kirsten told him and gently pushed him back.

"That's going to be a looong hour," he moaned. Kirsten looked at her husband. After all those years he simply knew almost every time how to make her feel better.

They were concentrated on the papers when Sandy broke the silence: "Kirsten, what's that? Why is your company transferring this amount of money to a boarding school?"

"Let me see."  
Kirsten looked at the numbers and than at her husband.  
"That's weird. That doesn't cover the amount of money that's missing but still. It's weird. Can you put that to the side please? I'm gonna find out what that is about tomorrow."

"Sure. So, the hour is over. Can we stop working now please? My head is spinning."  
"Yeah, so is mine," Kirsten said and closed her laptop, "let's enjoy what's left of this night."

Sandy stood up and took his wife's hand, pulling her up.  
They took the bottle of wine and made their way down to the beach where they watched the water and enjoyed the alcohol together in silence.

After a while it was getting cold and Kirsten sat down between Sandy's legs who put his hands around her.

"I love you," Sandy whispered gently in her ear. Kirsten leaned back so their lips could meet. Their kissed got deeper and soon they lost their clothes, forgot about the cold and their everyday life problems.

Later that night, after a hot shower – it did get quite cold outside – they went to bed and finally slept.

_

TO BE CONTINUED - and I'm always grateful for reviews


	3. Why Kirsten stopped paining

"Guys, look at this," Marissa told her friends.

She, Summer, Ryan and Seth were going through the basement, looking for Sandy's old surfboards since the girls decided that they should learn how to surf this summer. After their opinion being able to surf was a part of the education for every child living at the beach.

"Those are old pictures by my mom," Seth said, when he saw what Marissa meant. She held beautiful paintings in her hands, portraits, landscapes, everything drawn in perfection.

"Your mother can draw?" Summer and Ryan asked at the same time.

"Yeah, Dad always says I got that from her." Seth responded.

"I've never seen her painting," Ryan said.

"I don't think she still does it."

"That's too bad. Look at this one, is that you Seth?" Summer asked.

"Of course it is him, look, there's Captain Oats," Marissa answered Summer's question. The picture showed Seth as an infant, with long and dark curly hair, big brown eyes and with his Captain Oats in his hands.

"Do you think we should take those paintings upstairs?" Summer asked the group.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sandy answered. The four teenager turned around.

Sandy stood at the other side of the basement.

"What are you doing kids?" he asked.

"We were looking for surfboards when we discovered mom's drawings," Seth answered.

"The surfboards are in the garage. You should leave Kirsten's paintings down here it won't do any good if she sees them." Sandy demanded, then turned around and went back upstairs.

"That was weird," Marissa said.

"Hey, isn't this you grandmother, Seth? She looks like the lady on the photograph in the living room," Summer asked.

"Yeah, this is she," Seth responded.

The picture Summer held in here hands was different to the one that showed Seth. Kirsten drew her mother when she was already sick, right before she died.

It had no light colours in it; it seemed dark and sad.

"No wonder Sandy told us to leave the pictures down here. Some of them seem really depressing," Ryan concluded.

"I wonder why she won't draw anymore," Marissa said.

"People, can we stop talking about my mother please? Let's just get the boards and leave this old stuff where it is," Seth demanded.

They found the surfboards and made their way to the beach.

It turned out that no one of them was very talented on the board and after a while one after the other quit and left the more talented friends surf alone.

"I really don't see why people think this is fun," Seth said, "it's way to painful."

"It's not when you figure out how to stand on the board or at least how to fall in the water and not on the board," Ryan teased him.

At the same time Sandy was standing in the houses basement. He held one of the drawings in his hands. It showed a premature baby, wrapped in a white blanked, lying on its mothers chest. The baby's eyes were closed, the mothers hands held it close to her heart. The picture beamed with sadness. Sandy put it away and wondered if Kirsten ever thought about painting again.

She used to dream about her own atelier, drawing all day, no business meetings, no choleric father, no business men trying to get to her father by using her.

He decided to be an example and left the things where they were. Upstairs again he met Kirsten who was in the kitchen. "Hey Baby, you are home early," he greeted Kirsten and kissed her on the cheek.

"Yeah, my last meeting got cancelled." she explained. "So I called the boarding school my father transferred the money to."

"And?" Sandy asked for more information.

"They said that the money was no donation but the regular tuition fees."

"What does that mean?"  
"That my father pays the school for somebody's child."  
"Did you find out who that child is?"  
"No, I didn't. I didn't ask. I'll talk to him myself, I don't want to play detective in my father's life it doesn't feel right. But at least I discovered that there was no money missing in the main bank account of the New Port Group. It was a stupid mistake by some stupid intern. God, I wish people would start thinking on their own," Kirsten grumped.  
"Well, a mistake is better than corruption, theft or dirty business. At least you can stop worrying about that," Sandy said, trying to cheer her up.

"Yeah, true. Enough about me how was your day? How are the kids?"

"My day was good and the kids are fine. Right now they're down at the beach trying to learn how to surf. They are fully enjoying their summer break. But they should be back soon, they left a while ago."

"All right. I'm gonna get changes into something comfortable."  
"Go ahead. I will get something to eat."

When Kirsten came back into the kitchen Sandy was already on his way to pick up some food, Summer and Marissa decided to go home and Ryan was taking a shower.

Only Seth was sitting at the kitchen table and as usually reading in one of his many comic books.

"Hey honey, how was surfing?" Kirsten asked her son.

"Painful. Seems like I don't have that Sandy Cohan gene in me that allows you to stand on the water," Seth mourned.

"Don't worry about it, I don't have it either."

"Well, we know how to work with a pencil and colours, that's not nothing, don't you think?"

"What do you mean, Seth?"

Seth didn't mean to mention the paintings from his mother in the basement but as usual things just come out of his mouth.  
"Um, you know, when we were looking for surfboards Summer kind of stumbled over some of your old paintings. It was just a figure of speech. It didn't mean to mention it."

"Well, then lets just leave it with that," Kirsten demanded in a reserved voice. "But why?" Seth asked, "why leave it with that? Your paintings are amazing. Dad always told me I got the talent to draw from you and now I know what he means. You are really good. Why did you stop?" Seth rambled.

"Seth, I…," Kirsten thought about an excuse. Then she decided that lying to her son would make her too much like her own father. "I don't know. Painting was something that connected me to my mother. After she died I just didn't feel like it anymore. My pictures got so dark that I was almost embarrassed. And after the miscarriages I had after your birth it was like all the light in the paintings was gone. Then I stopped for good."

Seth knew that his parents had a hard time with having a second child. He also knew that Kirsten did get pregnant once after his birth, he remembered her swollen belly and how happy his parents were.

Then one day he heard her screams, they drove into the hospital and the next thing Seth remembered was that his mother came home, no swollen belly, no baby.

His father explained to him that the baby, Rose, was now in heaven and they never talked about it again.

"I'm sorry mom."

"It's ok. Lets just not talk about, all right? It's in the past. I have you, Ryan, your father. I don't need much more," she said with a sad smile.


	4. Leave her alone

"You look absolutely fabulous tonight Mrs. Cohen, absolutely stunning. Too bad you aren't available – you aren't, isn't that right?" Mr. Thomas Clark asked Kirsten with a disgusting undertone.

"I'm not, that's right Mr. Clark. Excuse me please," she tried to loose her unpleasant company.

"Oh please, not so fast. I don't want to beset you, we are simply having a nice night. I just want to let you know that I'm there for you and your family if there is ever anything I could do," he sweet-talked Kirsten. His hand was resting on her left arm.

Kirsten hated these situations. Mr. Clark was a sneaky businessman, trying to get into Caleb Nichols business over Kirsten.

"Thank you Mr. Clark. But now I really have to check on my –"

"Oh nooo, please. Just one drink with me. Lets talk about some of your new buildings, your father must be very proud."

Just then Sandy arrived with Ryan and Seth. They came later to the "Man-Of-The-Year-Party" Kirsten organized for her father in the Yacht Club. Sandy said he had some work stuff to do – Kirsten thought he simply wanted to duck out of one more Newpsie Party.

Right now she was incredibly to see her husband who had heard the last words Mr. Clark shared with her.

"Excuse me please, I hope I'm not interrupting anything but its important," he said and gently pulled Kirsten with her.

"Thank you," she said when Mr. Clark disappeared in the crowd, "you are my saviour."

"You are very welcome. No dumb-asses near my wife while I am around," he said and kissed her.

The night went without a further incident. Even Seth, Ryan and Sandy enjoyed themselves, everyone had a bit too much to drink and Caleb Nichol felt like a king.

When Kirsten made her way to the bathrooms she didn't notice that someone was following her.

The moment she opened the bathroom door someone pushed her hard in the back, into the bathroom. For a short moment Kirsten felt like she was loosing consciousness, a sharp pain shot through her rips.

When she got herself up again she looked into the eyes of a very drunken Mr. Clark. Kirsten's mind was spinning, for a moment she wished she hadn't drunk as much as she did.

She was still trying to get her thoughts in order when another hard punch hit her in ribcage. She could feel her ribs giving in.  
"You little bitch, you thought you could play around with me, didn't you?! You thought you could play the little queen of Orange Country because your father is the big boss," Kirsten's tormentor hissed, "Who has the power now, hm?!"  
"Thomas, stop it. Leave me alone, you are not doing anyone a favour. Just let me go and we can discuss – " Kirsten tried to calm him down. It didn't work.

"Discuss? I discussed enough in my life. Everything is about talking, making a compromise. You know what? For tonight I'm done compromising. Tonight I want to have some fun."  
He pushed her against the wall, grabbed her breast with one hand and pulled up her dress with the other. Kirsten was a trained woman but against a powerful and aggressive man she had no chance. She tried to scream but his punches took away her breath.

He pulled of her panties and let them fall on the ground. Just then the door opened and Ryan came in, followed by four security men.

"LEAVE HER ALONE," Ryan roared and punched Thomas Clark away from his foster mom. The security men took care of Clark, Ryan made his way to Kirsten who was falling to the ground, shaking uncontrollable.

He put his jacket around her, saying: "Everything is all right, you are save no. He can't hurt you anymore. It's ok."

A large group of onlooker made space when Sandy came into the bathroom. "Kirsten –" was all he could say for a while.  
"Come on, lets get you out of here," he than said and gently helped her up.

He and Ryan supported her on the way out of the yacht club where Caleb and Seth were already waiting with the car. "The police is waiting for us at home, lets go," Caleb said.


	5. The aftermath

The ride home was filled with silence. No one said anything, Sandy sat next to Kirsten, he had an arm around her but she didn't give in. It was like she was in a trance, far away in her own world. Sandy never saw her like this, every once in a while she would shut out everything around her but not as successful as now.

"We're home honey, let's go inside," he said to Kirsten when Caleb parked the car next to the car of the policemen.

They opened the door and everyone went inside. Seth and Ryan didn't know what to do, they didn't want to be in the way but on the other hand they wanted to be there for their mother. They sat down in the kitchen, Sandy and Caleb sat down in the living room with the police and Kirsten got changed.

When she got back into the living room Caleb could catch a glimpse of her face. It started to turn black and blue.

What he couldn't see was that her ribcage looked the same, so did her back. She sat down between Caleb and Sandy.

"Mrs Cohen, I know this must be very hard. But I need you to describe me exactly what has happened so we can charge the offender," Rick told her, one of the policemen Sandy had already worked a lot with.

Kirsten hesitated. She knew she had to talk eventually so after a while she started explaining what has happened: "Earlier today Thomas Clark had tried to get into my fathers business by schmoozing me. It didn't work so I guess he got angry. Later, when I was on my way to the bathroom he must have followed me and –" she didn't finish the sentence. There were no tears in here eyes. Every muscle in her body was tense and she felt the desperate urge to get on her feet and run away.

"I can't do this," she finally said and slowly got up. She didn't leave the room but steadily walked from one side to the other. Seth watched his mother closely. Everything felt so surreal. Sandy got up and tried to talk to his wife: "Come on, Kirsten. I know this is hard. But the sooner you say what happened the sooner you can overcome this."

"Mrs Cohen, if it helps we can talk alone. That might be easier," Rick suggested.

"Yes, please," Kirsten said very quiet.

She went into the office and told the investigators the rest of the story.

"He pushed me into the bathroom an…and pushed me against a wall. I tried to defend myself but he was so strong. I couldn't push him away. Every time I tried screaming a punch followed. So I…I… . Then he pulled – he pulled down my, you know… Then Ryan came in and it was over," she finished exhausted. Every word felt like a stone in her mouth.

The investigators were satisfied with her statement and left the house. Before they left Rick said to Sandy: "Sandy, you should get her into the hospital. I don't know if there is anything your wife left out in her statement but even if she didn't a doctor should check her out."

"I will talk to her. Thank you Rick."  
Caleb, Ryan and Seth were still in the living room, Kirsten was still sitting in the office.

There Sandy sat down in front of her: "Kirsten, look at me. We will get through this. You are not alone in this. I'm here. You don't need to talk to me but I'm here if you need anything. Right now I need something from you."

Kirsten looked confused at here husband. HE wanted something from HER?

"I need you to let me drive you to the hospital. You need to be examined."  
"I'm fine Sandy. Just a couple of bruises, nothing time couldn't heal."  
"If that's true we need to hear it from the doctors. A medical certification is also necessary for the police statement."

"Sandy, I… I can't."

Sandy didn't know how to get through to his wife. He thought about a way to get through to her when Caleb entered the room. Under normal conditions Sandy would have thrown him out right away – if it wouldn't have been for him, none of this would have happened. There would have been no party today, no drunken Rick Clark, nothing. But he needed his help.

"Come on, Kiki. I will drive you to the doctors and Sandy will take care of the children. In less than a couple of hours we will be back," he said gentle but demanding. He helped Kirsten up and didn't leave her a choice. He led her to the car and left a baffled Sandy in the house.

After Sandy realised that Caleb really did manage to get Kirsten to the hospital he went looking for Seth and Ryan. They sat by the pool and didn't say a word. Sandy sat down next to them and said: "Ryan, would you look at me, please?" Ryan lifted his head and looked Sandy right in the eyes.

"Thank you. Thank you for what you did for Kirsten. If you wouldn't have noticed her missing, I don't what would have happened."  
Ryan didn't say a word. Instead he and Seth had tears in their eyes. Sandy was surprised about their reaction, until he realised that both of them almost lost their mother and now saw her in the worst state ever.

He took both of his boys in an embrace and held them like this for minutes. He started to let himself go when Seth got out of the embrace and asked: "Where did Mom and Caleb go?"  
"Your mother requires medical care. Caleb drove her so that I could check on you guys. This is a tough day."

IN THE HOSPITAL

Kirsten was in the doctors office, Caleb stayed in the waiting room. A friendly female doctor entered the room: "Hello Mrs Cohen. My name is Doctor Rose Wild, I'm here to check if any of your injuries need further treatment," she said in a gentle tone.

Kirsten looked up but didn't say anything.  
"Lets have a look at your face first," Doctor Wild continued. She was trained for cases like Kirsten's and knew how to handle harassed women.  
She cleaned the small cuts in Kirsten's face: "Luckily nothing is broken. Your face will return to normal in a week or two."

Kirsten only nodded.

"Mrs Cohen, would it be all right with you if I now take a look at your ribcage and back?" she asked.

Kirsten hesitated. Then she tried to take of her pullover but could lift her right arm high enough through the pain in her ribs. Rose Wild jumped in and helped her.

"Thank you," Kirsten finally said.

"Of course," Dr. Wild responded, "would you lie back for me, please?"

Kirsten did and Dr Wild steadily palpated Kirsten's skin. When she got near Kirsten's ribs right under her right breast Kirsten groaned in pain.

"We need to do a X-Ray, Mrs Cohen. It seems like your ribs are broken. And I'll to an ultrasound to check for any internal bleedings, all right?"  
Kirsten nodded.

The doctor couldn't discover and internal bleedings, the X-Ray on the other hand showed 2 broken ribs.

The rest of the bruises were harmless.

"Mrs Cohen, I have to ask. Do you require a rape kid?" the doctor asked after she had helped Kirsten into her pullover again.

Kirsten froze. Then she said: "No. No, I don't think so."  
"You don't think so?" Dr. Wild asked gentle. She knew that victims of sexual assaults often told the police that they weren't raped when they were because they are ashamed.

"No, he didn't get that far. The security got him away from me, before –"

"All right then. Do you feel any pain in your genital area?" Just because Clark didn't get into Kirsten didn't mean that he didn't leave any injuries that require medical attention – another fact the doctor had learned over the years.

Kirsten hesitated. Yes, there was pain – was what the doctor could read in here eyes.  
"Mrs Cohen, there is probably nothing I can do for you there anyway. I'm gonna give you a prescription for painkillers and antibiotics you need to take. If the pain isn't getting better I need you to come back for further examinations, all right?"

"Yes. Thank you," Kirsten replied relieved.

"I forbid you to do anything besides lying on a couch with you feet up. No long walks, not heavy lifting, no cooking. Your injuries need to heal in peace," were the last words from Dr. Wild.

Kirsten was released and Caleb drove her home.

"What did the doctor say?" he asked in the car.

"Not much. Couple of broken ribs, nothing serious," Kirsten replied.

Back home Sandy asked the same thing and got the same answer. It was in the middle of the night, Ryan and Seth were already gone to bed, Caleb went home as well and Sandy led Kirsten into their bedroom.

When they were in bed Sandy didn't dare to touch Kirsten. While he thought about what he should say, Kirsten moved a bit closer to him and lay down on his arm.

When Sandy tightened his grip around her a little bit to show her that she was save. And for the first time after everything that happened in the last couple of hours Kirsten let go.

"Sandy, I was so scared. I thought – I thought. If Ryan wouldn't have come he – " and tears followed her words.  
"I know. It's all right darling. You are save now. It's ok." Sandy soothed her. Even though he felt her pain he felt relieved. He wasn't sure what has happened in the bathroom but now he was sure that besides all the brutality his wife hasn't been raped. They had a long rode if front of them anyway.

**_Should I continue? Tell me what you think. _**


	6. It gets better

The next couple of days were hard for everyone. Kirsten could barely move, every time she made a sudden move pain shot trough her body.

She spent most of her time lying on the couch or in the sun, drugged with painkillers and antibiotics. The nights were the hardest - she barely slept more than an hour or two.

On night Sandy awoke from her screams.

"Kirsten, honey, it's only a dream, come on, wake up," he said in a gentle but demanding voice. Kirsten woke up with a jolt. Pain shot through her body again and she held her hands over her broken ribs.

"Shit, ouch," she cursed. "You ok?" Sandy asked concerned. "Fine. Just my goddamn ribs," she said, obviously in a bad mood, "I'm good, go back to sleep Sandy."

She tried to get out of bed when Sandy asked her what she was doing.  
"I want a new pyjama," Kirsten responded. Sandy didn't need to ask why – it was obvious that Kirsten's nightmare had caused her to sweat in fear. Her Pyjamas were wet.

"Sit down, I'll get them," Sandy told her and got out of bed. Sugar-coating didn't work well with Kirsten, that's one thing Sandy had learned. So he tried the I'm-Not-Leaving-You-An-Option variant Caleb used the night of the harassment. It worked.

Sandy came back with a pyjama and helped Kirsten changing. When he gently pulled down the old pair of pants and pulled up the fresh ones he got a glimpse of the bruises on her tights.

He helped his wife back under the covers and than lay down very close to her. Neither of them could fall asleep again.

Even Ryan and Seth were noticeable uncomfortable around Kirsten and didn't know what to say or do.

One time when they were tiptoeing around Kirsten, who was lying on the couch in the living room with some work related papers in her hands, she had enough and asked:  
"Boys, would you come here for a second please?"

"Sure, what's up mom?" Seth asked. He and Ryan sat down in the armchairs in front of the couch, Kirsten slowly sat up.

"I know this situation isn't easy for the two for you. It's hard for Sandy and for me as well. But I'm still myself. You don't have to tiptoe around me like I can't handle anything anymore, all right? Everything is going to be fine," she finished her lection.

Seth and Ryan thought that this would be more awkward. In fact it actually helped to hear those words. Now the finally knew what to do – be normal.

"All right," Ryan said.

"Sure, great. So that means I can now tell you that I accidently bumped into a trash-can with you car?" Seth asked.

"Seth, what did I tell you?! One scratch in my car – one comic book of yours. Go and take a picture of my car please and I'll make a decision," Kirsten said almost gleeful.

"Mother, you are a monster!" Seth claimed and went outside.

"You are not really going through with this, are you?" Ryan asked Kirsten.

"No, I don't care about my stupid car. I just wanted a second alone with you. Ryan, listen, what you did – if you wouldn't have noticed that I was missing, I don't know what would have happened. I can't thank you enough," she said, meaning it from the bottom of her heart.

"You don't have to thank me about that, Kirsten. I would do anything for you after what you did and are doing for me," Ryan said, ashamed as usual when it comes to feelings.

Since neither of the two were big talkers, Kirsten grabbed Ryan's hand for a second, tightened the grip for a moment and let go when Seth came back.

"Well, I think I can overlook that little bump Seth," she said.

"Mother, you are not a monster, you are the most generous woman I know," Seth said ironically.

"I thought you would never realise it," Kirsten said in the same ironic tone. For the first time Ryan noticed that Seth got that ironic humour from both of his parents.

"So - what now? Are you in the mood for some serious super hero movies, mother?" Seth asked.

"How could I resist? I'll just make a pit-stop in the bathroom and I'm good to go. You can pick a movie in the meantime."

Kirsten got on her feet very, very slowly. She tried to make it look like she had everything in control but her sons could see exactly that she was in pain.  
A couple of minutes later everyone was placed in front of the TV again and the hours passed fast. Sandy, who was back at work for the first day after Kirsten was harassed got home and watched his family for a few moments - Kirsten, surrounded by her sons, looking peaceful.

"Hey guys, looks like I'm just in time for a serious fight against the bad boys," he said, kissed his wife on the head and placed some Chinese Take-Away on the table.

"Dad, for tonight you are the hero," Seth said effusively and grabbed on of the boxes.

"Seth, Ryan, why don't you get some plates for everyone?" Sandy requested his sons. The two went into the kitchen and Sandy sat down next to Kirsten.  
"Hey Baby, how are you feeling?" he asked, hoping not to come up against a wall of silence that Kirsten had built up every once in while since she came home from the hospital.

"I'm ok. The pain is not as bad and the boys are back to their normal version. Feels better," she said short and precise.

"That's good," Sandy commented. He knew Kirsten was traumatized and accepted that she needed her space to heal. But something inside him just wanted the things to go back to normal, wanted his happy wife back, the woman he could share the good and bad of the day with and make love to.

Of course, it only has been a couple of days but their relationship has been so intense that every missing day was like ripping of a bandage.

Later that night, the boys were out with Summer and Marissa, Sandy surprised Kirsten in the dressing room when she was changing into pyjamas.

For the first time he could fully see the extent of her injuries. Her ribcage was black and blue, bruises branded her hips, thighs and backside. "Sandy," Kirsten shouted out shocked when she saw her husband in the door frame. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just – "  
"- it's ok. "Kirsten interrupted him and put on her night gown. The bruises were covered again and Kirsten made her way into the bathroom without another word. Sandy followed her and found her in front of the mirror staring at herself.

Her face was filled with anger and disgust.

"Kirsten, what's wrong?" Sandy asked. He didn't know how to classify her behaviour. "What is wrong? This is wrong," Kirsten shouted loudly, pointing at her body, "I'm a mess every single part of my body looks like someone had tried to destroy it. I feel so dirty Sandy, I feel disgusting, abhorred, loathsome, and hideous and dirty, I can't even look at myself. ," she kept on screaming angry. Tear finally started to run down her cheeks. She had nothing left to say, nothing more to give.

Sandy very gently pulled his devastated woman in a loving embrace. "Kirsten, this will past. In a couple of days the bruises will be gone. Nobody will be able to see what happened to you. You are not dirty. That son of the bitch is the dirty one. You are the most wonderful, the most amazing woman I've ever come across. This won't break you, you are way too strong. In a couple of days the court will decide what is going to happen to Thomas Clark and you will never have to deal with him again. This won't define who you are or who you are becoming," he said, letting his heart talk. Sandy hoped that the words would get into Kirsten's mind. And they did. She looked into his eyes and hissed a "Thank you."

"I'm here for you Kirsten. You don't need to go through this alone. Don't build up a wall. Nothing could ever change my feelings for you."

"I just don't want you to see me as a basket case."

"Kirsten Cohen, I know you. I know you are not a basket case. What happened to you was excruciating. But I would never think that something like that would destroy you. Do YOU know that you are no basket case?"

Kirsten looked at him, a bit surprised by his question. She had to think about it for a moment or two and then answered: "I'm not sure. Talking with the boys helped a lot, I'm feeling much better. I just – everyone knows what happened. It was in every newspaper."

"Don't worry about that. This is NewPort; no one will ever say a word to you about that."

"That's probably true," Kirsten admitted. She looked into her husband's eyes and wondered how he knew exactly what to say to her to make her feel better. She carefully raised her had and kissed Sandy. It was their first kiss since Clark had assaulted Kirsten and for Sandy it came out of the blue.

"Come on, lets go to bed," Sandy said with a big smile in his face and followed Kirsten out of the bathroom. He helped her into bed and asked: "Is there anything you need? Where are your painkillers?"  
"Uh, I left them in the kitchen."

"I'll get them. Do you need anything else?"  
"No thank you, Baby."

Moments later Sandy had her pills and a bag filled with ice in his hands.

"There you go. You should put the ice on your ribs, it'll help."

Kirsten did as told and let Sandy take her right hand. They read in their kindles for some time and when they turned the light of, for the first time since days, Kirsten was able to sleep without a disturbing nightmare.

7 Days later

Kirsten was alone in the house, the kids were out with their girlfriends and Sandy was working. Kirsten, who was still certified unfit for work, was wandering around the house. The day before Thomas Clark was convicted and fined 25000$ and a few weeks on probation.

It wasn't much since he did not rape Kirsten but she was glad the process was over anyway. She was still thinking about how Mr. Clark had looked – unshaved with deep shadows under his eyes – when she felt the sudden urge to draw the scenery in the court room.

She found a pencil and paper in Seth's room sat down in the garden and let her hand to what it wanted. It was a dark picture. It showed the reason why Kirsten stopped drawing – her painting was overloaded with negative emotions. Nevertheless she felt better when she put down the pencil. She hadn't forgotten one thing about painting.

It was getting late so she put away the material and made her way into the house again. She was still moving very carefully, her ribs still became noticeable with every move. The doctors told her that the pain would last for at least 6-8 weeks.

Inside the house Kirsten was surprised by her father.

"Kirsten, it's so good to see you."

"Hey dad, what are you doing here?" Kirsten asked while Caleb kissed her on her forehead.

"I thought I could come by and see how you are doing."

"Well, I'm doing well. Things aren't easy but they are definitely getting better, thanks Dad."

"I'm glad to hear it. You know, I've got some time. How about we open a good chardonnay and have some father-daughter-time?"  
Kirsten was baffled by her fathers offer. They barely ever talked about anything else than work or Hailey.

"Sure Dad. It's not like I've got anything else to do."  
So they opened a bottle of whine and went outside, Kirsten lay down on a deckchair, Caleb sat down on the one next to hers.

"How are you really feeling Kiki?" Caleb asked his daughter.

"I'm really fine. Can we please talk about something else, Dad?"  
"Kirsten, all we ever do is Talk-About-Something-Else. I don't want that anymore. That night I was more scared than ever before – I thought I was loosing you."  
"You didn't."  
"No, I didn't. But it made me realise that all I know about my daughter is what she does in her job. That's not enough."  
"Dad, it's fine."  
"No, it's not. Your mother would have hit me to death if she would have known – oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –" he started to apologize when he realised that his words weren't exactly appropriate in Kirsten's situation.

"Well, she wouldn't have bared my behaviour. So please Kirsten, please."  
Kirsten looked at her father in surprise. He behaved like a jackass all those years. Did he really change? Could someone change? She didn't care.

"It's not easy," she admitted and told him about her past couple of days. It felt good to talk to someone outside of her closes family.

_**Please review & tell me what you think - do you want more? **_


	7. From better to worse

The next weeks went by fast. Kirsten's bruises healed, so did her soul. She eased back into work, the newpsies concentrated on more current scandals and the boys enjoyed their last free days of summer.

The only one still tense was Sandy. Even though he was the happiest man in the world seeing his wife geting better everyday he missed her. In the bed. In the shower. He missed sex.

He didn't make any attempts because he wanted Kirsten to make the first move, they haven't talked about it and neither of them mentioned their lack of a sexual life. They tried a couple of times but Kirsten would end up shaking and embarrassed and Sandy would end up feeling bad and like an ass.

This time he wanted things to be different. After work he bought flowers and Kirsten's favourite Chardonnay and looked for her in the house. Kirsten was back to work but he knew that she would be early home that day.

"Honey, I'm home," he yelled through the house. Then he saw the clothes she wore this morning lying on the floor in the dressing room and heard the shower.

"Honey?" he said asking and opened the bathroom door.  
"Hey," Kirsten answered and turned her head around. She looked absolutely stunning. Her body was shaped like the body of a 20 years old, trained through and through. Her blue sharp eyes gave her an unforgettable look that could make you freeze.

Sandy formed a habit of leaving Kirsten alone when she was naked after Clark tried to rape her, just as he wanted to close the door, Kirsten said:  
"You know Sandy, I can see from here that you could use a shower," she said in the tone Sandy knew too well.

"Really?" he asked in a low voice, slowly opened the shower and let Kirsten pull him under the water. Kirsten took care of undressing him. Their kisses got deeper.  
"Are you sure you are ok?"  
"Yeah, I'm good," Kirsten answered and let Sandy push her gently against the wall. He started kissing her neck, her collar bone, her breasts. One of his hands rested on Kirsten's butt, the other one found its way between her legs. Then Sandy paused for a second and looked his wife in the eyes. No fear. No tears. No shaking. Pure pleasure.

An hour later Sandy watched his wife dry of. There were no bruises left to see, her movements had their softness back.

"Sandy, stop watching me like that," Kirsten complained laughing.

"Did I ever tell you how amazing you are?"

Kirsten wrapped a towel around herself, placed on hand on Sandy's neck and kissed him.

"Yes. And I like hearing it," she answered.

**12 Month later **

"Hey Kirsten," Marissa greeted Kirsten, who was reading the new INSTYLE.

"Marissa, hey. I don't think Ryan is home yet," Kirsten said.

"Oh, I thought he would be home by now."  
"I think he's still at school. Shouldn't you be too?"

"Yeaah, I should," Marissa said and avoided eye contact with Kirsten. Over the years Kirsten has grown much more into something like a mother for Marissa than Julie ever could. She was always there when Marissa needed someone to talk to and always knew when something was wrong.

"You know, I don't mind company. Why don't you wait here until Ryan is back?"  
"Sure," Marissa said and sat down next to Kirsten. For a moment she forgot about the bruise Trey left on her collar bone and started to take of her jacket. She immediately remembered the mark and put it on again.  
"God, Marissa what happened to your collarbone?!" Kirsten asked outraged.

"What? Oh, that, nothing happened, I just ran against a door or something like that," Marissa said evasive.

"Marissa, don't lie to me. This doesn't look like something you get from running into a door." Marissa looked at the blonde. She knew what had happened to Kirsten at the party she threw for her Caleb– Ryan told her, every news paper wrote about it and she saw Kirsten with her injuries. Suddenly the tears overwhelmed her and she began to cry bitterly. "Honey, what's going on?" Kirsten asked while she pulled the girl into a hug. "Come on, talk to me. What happened?"  
"I… I…," Marissa stuttered sobbing. She had to take a few moments until she got herself under control and started talking.  
"It was Trey. We were at the beach, drunk. He wanted more, I didn't. I love Ryan, I would never do anything like that to him. But Trey wouldn't accept no for an answer and wanted to force me… you know. I found a stick lying beside me and knocked him out. I ran away. I just," tears started to run down her cheeks again, "I can't get those pictures out of my mind."  
"Oh honey. I'm so sorry," Kirsten whispered and whipped away Marissa's tears. She was speechless. How could this have happened again? Wasn't it enough that she had to went through the same?

She let Marissa cry. Her own experience taught her that words don't help a lot in this kind of situations – gestures do. So she held the young girl until the tears stopped falling.

"Have you talked to anyone about this," Kirsten asked.

"No. I couldn't. Please don't tell Ryan. He'll loose his mind."

"Marissa, you cannot deal with something like this on your own. Trust me. I can't promise you that I won't talk to Ryan. It's… You know what happened to me some time ago?"  
"Yeah, I do."  
"I tried to deal with it myself. Believe me, it doesn't work. These kind of things need a lot of time and you need someone that helps you to get through the dark moments. I'm here for you whenever you want me to. But maybe you should consider talking to someone else. Can't you talk to Summer? Or maybe your Mom? And sooner or later you need to tell Ryan. He needs to know, honey."

"I know. It's just… It's a lot."

"Yeah, it is. Take your time. One step after the other. But don't isolate yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. This isn't your fault, you know that right?

"Thank you, Kirsten," Marissa whispered. Kirsten didn't say anything, she just looked at the young woman with sympathising eyes.

"I'm gonna go home and freshen up before Ryan comes home. Would you please tell him that I stopped by?" Marissa asked after a couple of silent minutes.  
"Of course."

Kirsten went back to the office and tried to get her work done. She could barely concentrate and was happy when the day was over. It was already late when she drove home and looked forward to be around her soothing family.

Ryan and Seth were playing some ninja-game in the living room. "Hey boys, how was your day?" Kirsten asked her sons.  
"Good." Both of them answered at the same time. They were concentrating on their game and as usual not responsive.

"Where's your dad?" she asked anyway.

"Outside." Both of them answered at the same time again.

Kirsten changed into a jeans and t-shirt, grabbed a bottle of whine and two glasses and joined her husband who was sitting at the fire place in the garden.

"Hey beautiful, you are home late," Sandy greeted his wife.

"Yeah," Kirsten said vaguely. She filled the glasses and took a big sip.  
"Kirsten, are you ok?" Sandy asked the unusual quite blonde.  
"No. Not really. Sandy, we have a problem."  
"Ok?" Sandy said interrogative.

Then Kirsten told him about Marissa.

"She told me not to tell Ryan but I'm not sure if that's the right decision. It feels wrong."  
"Uh, that's tough. And I thought Trey wasn't a lost cause. Shit," Sandy cursed and took a big sip.

"What are we gonna do?" Kirsten asked.

"Yeah, what are we gonna do," Sandy repeated the question.

"I can't keep this from Ryan, Sandy. I can't. Not after what he did for me."

"Keep what from me?" Ryan asked. He stood a couple of metres behind Sandy and Kirsten and had overheard Kirsten's last words.

"Ryan!" Sandy and Kirsten said at the same time.  
"Kirsten, what were you talking about?" Ryan kept on asking.

"Nothing we have to talk about right now," Kirsten told her son.

"C'mon, I can see in your face that something is up. Tell me."

"Ryan sit down," Sandy told him.

"What I'm about to tell you is gonna make you incredibly angry, Ryan. Nevertheless I want you to promise me not to do anything about it. You could get yourself in very big trouble," Kirsten demanded.

"What is it?" Ryan asked again.  
"Ryan, you need to promise us," Sandy supported his wife, "otherwise there is no way we can tell you."  
"Ok, ok, I promise. I won't to anything you don't approve of. Now, what were you talking about?"  
"Marissa came by today. She was looking for you while you were still in school. We started talking and I noticed a nasty bruise on her collar bone. It was Trey. He tried to forced himself on her until Marissa managed to hit him with some stick and escaped," Kirsten explained Ryan in a short version.  
His expression changed within a second. His face was hard as a stone, his eyes exploded with hate.

He stood up very slowly. Grabbed a deckchair, lifted it up and threw it hard on the ground, screaming.

Sandy looked at his son, then at her wife.

There were no words needed between the couple, both of them were worrying sick about what was going to happen next.

In there surprise, nothing did. Ryan came back to his foster parents, sat down again, left the broken deckchair on the ground and said in a very forced voice: "Sorry about that. I'm gonna clean it up later."

Sandy and Kirsten were speechless. Kirsten would have laughed if the situation wouldn't have been so serious.

"All right," Sandy said.  
"What now?" Ryan asked.  
"Marissa needs to figure that out herself," Kirsten said, "we can't pressure her into any decisions. She will decide what will happen next. She wanted me to promise her that I won't tell you. I told her that she has to tell you about what happened. I don't know if she will Ryan, but please give her some time until you mention at."  
"Kirsten, I –" Ryan started answering back.

"No Ryan, please listen to me. If you will mention what happened with Trey, Marissa won't talk to you at all. Trust me. She needs time."  
Ryan believed her but still. This was way too messed up. He stood up again and said: "All right. I'll give her time."  
"Where are you going?" Sandy asked his son. He kept his mouth shut since Kirsten was the one that really knew the most what to do in this kind of situation.

"I'm gonna go for a run," Ryan said. His voice was shaking with rage. Sandy stood up and followed him into the pool house.  
"Ryan, you promised us –" he started.

"I told you, I'm going for a run. I'm not gonna kill anyone," Ryan interrupted him, went into the bathroom for a moment, came out with his sport clothes on and left Sandy standing next to his bed.

"I'll be back in a while," he told Kirsten and started running as fast as he could.

Kirsten finished her glass of whine with one big sip and Sandy sat down next to her again.

"I'm wondering if we did a very, very big mistake, Sandy."  
"Yeah. But he deserved to know the truth. We can't keep something like that from the boys. If we treat them like grown up most of the time we can't stop when it gets serious."  
"Should we go after Ryan?"  
"You thing he's gonna do something he's gonna regret?" Sandy asked back.

"Maybe. I don't know."  
"I think we should wait. Give him an hour or two. If he's not back by then we can start worrying."  
"Mom, Dad, why did Ryan run away like he was chased by grandpa?" Seth came outside asking.

His parents looked at each other. If they told Ryan, Seth should know too.

So they told him.

"Man, this is messed up. Shouldn't we try and find him?" Seth asked.

"We gave him 2 hours. If he's not back by then we'll go," Sandy ordered. 60 minutes past. 90 minutes past. 120 minutes past.

Seth, Kirsten and Sandy were sitting in front of the TV "watching" a movie. Neither of them watched, they were way too concentrated on the time.

"Sandy, he's still not back," Kirsten exclaimed.

"I've noticed," Sandy snapped.

"2 hours are over," Seth noticed.

"He never goes for a run that long. Its after midnight," Kirsten determined.

"Let's go. Kirsten, Seth, you go looking at the beach, I'm gonna go and see if he is in Treys old neighbourhood. Seth, can you give Marissa and Summer a call and asked them if he's with them? Don't tell them why."  
Ryan wasn't with them so the three got into their cars and scanned the surrounding areas. Nothing. Kirsten and Seth got out of the car and walked along the beach were Sandy surfed and Ryan jogged every morning.

"Mom, do you think Ryan could have done something stupid?" Seth asked unusually worried.  
"To be honest – yes. He was really trying keep it together. Well, you saw the deckchair. I don't see anything good coming out of this."

"But Trey didn't rape Marissa, right?"  
"No. Not that I know anyway."

"Mom look! Under the dock!" Seth shouted out and started running. Kirsten looked in the direction and followed him. Something was lying under the dock, motionless. It could have been a large piece of wood. It could have been Ryan. It wasn't a piece of wood.

"MOM, IT'S RYAN!" Seth yelled. Kirsten was a bit behind him, Seth was already next to his brother. "CALL 911!" he yelled.

Kirsten did as she was told. Ryan was lying in the sand unconscious. "Mom, someone beat him up," Seth said.

Kirsten kneed down next to Seth. "Ryan, honey, can you hear me? Come one, open your eyes for me. Ryan!" she tried waking him up.

His face was swollen and covered with red bruises and blood. The sand around his abdomen was turning red. "Shit!" Kirsten exclaimed. She pulled Ryan's sweater up and laid a large gash at Ryan's groin open.

"Shit, shit, shit," she kept cursing, took of her scarf and pressed it on the wound. "Seth, go to the pier and wait for the ambulance. And call your father that we found Ryan. I'll stay with him and try to stop the bleeding."  
Seth didn't answer and ran to the street.  
"C'mon Ryan, don't do this to me. Don't do this. We'll get through this," Kirsten kept rambling desperately. She didn't need a medical degree to know that her son had lost too much blood to be harmless and his breathing was getting slower and slower.  
"Ryan, come on. Come on, you can't do this. You can't do this do me, Ryan. You can't. You can't. You can't," Kirsten kept saying over and over again with tears running down her cheeks.


End file.
